Typical OCs
by OP Inc
Summary: Parodies of the typical archtypes of OC's in fanfiction.
1. Mary Sue and Gary Stu

She appeared on the Thousand Sunny out of thin air. "Where am I?", she asked herself as she began to aimlessly wander the ship. Hearing noises from the kitchen she to approached it. When she walked inside she was greeted with 17 eyes on her.

Sanji's cigarette fell out his mouth as he looked at the presence that had just graced his lunch. "A beautiful swan who needs my affection.", he said as his eyes turned to hearts. While Sanji was doing his mellironnie, Luffy asked , "Woho arrrer youou annada whyrye you on ma shpipi?" with a mouthful of food. "My name is Outrageous Beautiful Typical Uber Sexy Amanda Rachel NaHaRo Fluorescent Beautiful Vam D. Unbelievably ….." "Stop, we'll just call you outrage.", Luffy interrupted. "Anyway I don't know how I got on your ship. I think I just fell out the sky. ", Outrage finished. "Outrage if you don't mind could you wait outside", Robin asked. "Of course", she responded and waited on the deck.

Robin's face became deadly serious as she turned to face the crew, "I've read about people like her in history books. They're called Mary Sues." "What's a Mary Sue?", Chopper curiously asked. "Well they're perfect people who distract pirates from their adventures and dreams. ", Robin answered. The whole crew cringed in horror at the thought of giving up their dreams and adventures. "I guess we're kicking her off the ship then. Shishishi", Luffy laughed.

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement except for Sanji. "Uh guys, I can't let you do that to her." Sanji said. "Now is no time for your shitty pervert side cook. This is a serious problem that we need to take care. ", Zoro grumbled. "No", was Sanji's response. "Would you do it for me Sanji?", Nami asked in her sweetest tone. "No, because I love her more than anything in the world. The way her eyes sporadically changes colors. The way her hair is the color of the rainbow plus more. Her hourglass figure that's so voluptuous, I drool. I'd give up the All Blue for her! ", Sanji yelled at the top of his lungs. Everyone was shocked beyond belief. Not only had Sanji said no to Nami, but he seemed to be crazy about Outrage.

"How could you be in love with her cook bro? You just met the girl for 5 seconds. ", Franky asked. "I don't know", Sanji said with a confused face. "This is the power of a Mary Sue. They make various crew members obsessed with them. So much so that they give up any and all of their ambitions. ", Robin informed the crew. "Then let's kill her before she affects any more of us", Zoro calmly stated. "We can't. If anyone on the crew kills her Sanji will attempt to avenge her. He would also go into a deep depression that he may never recover from. Mary Sues are also invincible in battle. ", Robin said.

"So how do we stop this monster and get Sanji to snap out of it", Ussop questioned. "We'll have to get Outrage to recall her tragic past, since they always have one. We'll then have to recreate the events so she commits suicide or get her to tell us her weakness. She must also tell Sanji she's not interested in him, so that he's released from her powers. " Robin grimly stated.

Just then the crew heard a loud thud on the deck. They all filed out of the kitchen to see what the commotion was. Outrage was sitting there talking to a tall, muscular guy. "Oh hey guys", Outrage waved. "This is my brother Masculinity who also just fell out of the sky. We were wondering if we could join your crew.", she asked Luffy. "Sure", Luffy blatantly blurted. Once Luffy realized what he said he added, "You and your brother wait here while the rest of us discuss something in the kitchen." "Ok...crewmates", Outrage laughed. The rest of the strawhat crew went back into the kitchen.

As soon as they were inside Nami hit Luffy over the head. "You idiot how could you let them join when we're trying to get rid of them? ", she questioned. "I don't know what came over me. I didn't want to let them join, but just said they could.", Luffy pondered as he scratched his chin. "Hmmmm...This must be the other power of a Mary Sue that I read about. Apparently they can make people act out of character and against their wishes.", Robin said. "Oh, so it wasn't my fault.", Luffy smiled. "Hey Robin what about that guy with her? When I saw him I began to blush, and get hot, and fall in love.", Nami contently sighed. "Since they're siblings, I assume he is a Gary Stu. A male version of a Mary Sue. So now we have two of them to deal with. ", Robin answered. Everyone one began to think of a plan. Eventually Brooke spoke, "How about we split into teams. The females can deal with Outrage, while the guys deal with Masculinity. That way we won't be affected by their charms." Everyone looked toward Robin to see if she would support his idea, seeing as she knew the most about these weirdos. "I'm afraid that their charms will still affect us Brooke. The power of Mary Sues and Gary Stus are so powerful, that they can change your sexual orientation. " "Oh my. My dick would have shriveled up after hearing that if I still had one. Skull Joke. Yohohohoo", Brooke joked. The whole crew gasped. "Skeleton bro when have you ever talked liked that", asked Franky. "Never in my life. I've always been a gentalmen pervert, not a vulgar one. I think the power's of Ourtrage and Masculinity are starting to get to me.", he croaked. Realizing the urgency of the situation the strawhats came up with an alternate plan where they separate the siblings and exterminate them. Team Mary Sue consisted of Luffy, Zoro, Ussop, and Robin. The rest were team Gary Stu.

Team Gary Stu went out on deck. "Hey Outrage, Luffy wants to see you in the kitchen.", Nami informed Outrage. "Okeey Dookee Ms. Nav", Outrage cutely blurted as she ran into the kitchen. Everyone smiled at the way Outraged talked, finding it so cute. Remembering the mission team Gary Stu began to approach Masculinity.

Team Mary Sue:

"So what did you want Cap", Outrage smiled. "I just want to play a game with you that we do with all new female crew members, Truth or Dare.", Luffy responded. "Okay", she innocently agreed. _Every thing is going according to plan. _Ussop thought to himself. _Before long we'll know her past, recreate it and be rid of her. _"I'll go first!", Luffy exclaimed. "Zoro, truth or dare", he asked. "Dare", Zoro responded without a second thought. "I dare you to drink a bottle of sake. Shishishishi", Luffy laughed. Despite the serious situation, Robin couldn't help but smirk. Luffy was absolutely terrible at this game. Zoro shrugged and was about to get up to retrieve the bottle, when Outrage handed it to him with a smile. He gently took the bottle ,"Thank you. That was really sweet and unnecessary for an angel like yourself. " Everyone but Outrage was shocked at Zoro's behavior. He was beginning to act like Sanji. "No problem love", Outrage smiled back. Zoro began to get lost in her beautiful perfectly white teeth. He then took in the rest of her body, and noticed all the things Sanji did plus more. Her impeccable fashion sense, beautifully manicured nails, and perfectly pale skin. Before he knew it, he was blushing and doing a mellironnie around Outrage. Luffy's, Robin's, and Ussop's jaws hit the floor. With the simple act of passing him a bottle, she had Zoro under her control. _Damn_ they all thought. Realizing how bad things had gotten and being the first to get over the shock, Robin took her turn, "So Outrage, truth or dare?" "Dare of course", she stated. This made Zoro squeal in excitement and praise her. "I dare you to tell us about your past."

Team Gary Stu:

"Hey Gary St- I mean Masculinity, do you want to play a game.", Chopper nervously asked. "Sure little guy", Masculinity responded patting Chopper on the head. "That makes me so happy...friend.", Chopper excitedly said while wiggling. "Hey guys, wanna play truth and dare with us", Masculinity asked the others. His voice was so bass that it made Nami horny and make Franky question his manliness. They all agreed and formed a circle on deck. "I'll go first.", Nami ordered, "Truth or dare, Masculinity?" she asked. "Truth", he smiled. "Is it true that your attracted to 19 year old, orange hair navigators that love money and mikans", she desperately asked. _Damn_, the others thought, _Nami is gone. _"I love people like that. In fact, I love everyone.", he chuckled. The rest began to genuinely laugh even though they didn't find it funny. Nami had hearts in her eyes, and sighed contently. "I'll go next.", Masculinity stated, "Franky, truth or dare?" he asked. "I'll go with dare", Franky responded, hoping to please Masculinity. "I dare you to go put on...one of Nami's skirts.", he smiled. Everyone froze, knowing Franky only wore speedos below the waist, and would never wear a skirt. Nami took off the skirt she was currently wearing, making sure to do so in front of Masculinity, and threw it to Franky. "Hurry up and put it on you metal dult to make my Mas-poo happy.", she demanded. Suprisingly, Franky eagerly put it on. "So what do you guys think?", Franky giggled. Everyone laughed at he ridiculous look of Franky while he twirled in the skirt. "I like what I see!", Masculinity laughed. As this statement was said everyone else stopped laughing, and there faces turned serious. The awkwardness of what just happened snapped them out of Masculinity's Gary Stuness. Nami quickly snatched her skirt back and put it on. Remembering why they were playing with renewed clarity, the strawhats continued the mission. "I'll go next", Brooke said, "Masculinity, Truth or Dare?" he asked. "Truth", Masculinity answered. "Tell us about your past. "

Team Mary Sue:

A single tear rolled down Outrage's face and Zoro kissed it away. "It's okay if you don't want to tell us my angel. ", he swooned. "No, I'll tell you guys, because I love all of you.", she cried as she hugged everyone. Ussop put in his ear plugs and ran the contingency plan over in his head. _If the others fall for the tragedy of Outrage's past, it'll all be up to me. _Since he wouldn't be able to hear her story, he looked at the faces of the team to see how powerful her story was.

"Me and Masculinity grew up in a peaceful and prosperous kingdom. Then for an unknown reason, one day, a buster call came and obliterated our home. After being on our own for a few days we came upon a village. There we learned techniques from master ninjas and knights, so that we could protect ourselves. We ended up becoming the second best fighting pair in the village, behind the new friends we made. We made a promise with our friends to become the best ninja/knights in the world. Unfortunately our friends died after are 2000th sparring match by somehow falling up the stairs, and cracking their skulls. Our mentor which was a matriarch figure in our life, died from disease. Having nothing we left the village. We spent 50 days with only each other to rely on. Eventually we came upon a doctor who taught us medicine. Believing we created the perfect elixir we gave it to him to drink. When he did, he died. Once the doctor died, the village we resided in was taken over by a tyrant. Valuing my map making skills and Masculinity's engineering skills, we were forced to work for him to protect the village. Once we saved enough money, the tyrant left, but not before going back on his word and destroying the village. The government then wanted to kill Masculinity for his knowledge of the blueprints of Poseidon. Throw in rape, murder, depression, drugs, and any other problem you can think of, and you have the past. But we got through it all, and came out stronger for it.

Zoro and Luffy were both in tears, blubbering on the ground at Outrage's feet from her tragic tale. "You'll never feel pain like that again my love!", Luffy exclaimed. "Yes, because I'll protect you, my love", Zoro added. Robin had resisted the alluring power of the story by mentally pointing out holes in her story. _Friends falling up the steps and dieing, and blueprints to a living being._ She gave Ussop a thumbs up, showing that she was still capable of completing the mission.

"Let's continue on with truth or dare to get your mind on something else.", Ussop suggested with a smile, "I'll go.", he said. "Truth or Dare, Outrage?", he asked. "Truth", she smiled back. "What is your one true weakness. ", he asked. Knowing he sounded suspicious, he added, "That way we can protect you from it."

Team Gary Stu:

Masculinity finished telling the same story that Outrage had told, to the rest of the strawhats. Chopper was hugging Masculinity tearfully, while Franky insisted that he wasn't crying. Sanji had passed out after hearing all the things Outrage had to go through. Brooke had been mentally humming while Nami noticed holes in the story.

At that moment Masculinity's stomach began to grumble,"Uh, excuse me Sanji, could you make some food now?" he asked. "Only if you tell me your sister's favorite food. ", he answered , quickly recovering from his fainted state. "Oh, that's easy", he chuckled, "it's Devil Fruits. Our uniqueness allows me and her to consume an infinite amount of devil fruits. It's our favorite thing in the world. Sanji left for the kitchen to go prepare a meal for his love and her brother.

Now that Nami and Brooke knew how to kill Outrage and Masculinity, the only thing they had to do was get their crewmates from under the Mary Sue/ Gary Stu powers. "Hey guys come here.", Nami requested to everyone on deck. "Let's play another game while we wait for Sanji to finish dinner.", she suggested. "Fine, as long as it's not truth or dare. That game was to tragic, though I didn't cry.", Franky said as tears began to pool in his eyes. "No, let's play a new game I made up called awkward situations. It's simple, whoever creates the most awkward situation wins.", she informed. Everyone intrigued by this new game, joined in.

"Me first.", Chopper squealed. "Frankey, I find your light-em-up chest nipples provocative and innapropriate. " _What an_ a_wkward complaint_, everyone thought. "Okay.", Franky responded, "I'll replace them with regular nipples tommorow.", he stated. _Very awkward _everyone thought, not questioning where Franky would get normal nipples from. "You could use my nipples Franky, I have an extra pair.", Masculinity calmly stated. _Most awkward thing someone could say. _As soon as these words left Masculinity's mouth, Chopper and Franky snapped out from under the control of his Gary Stu powers.

Now that no one was under Masculinity's influence, he could be killed. Brooke swiftly played one of his attack lullabies, putting Masculinity to sleep. Franky then picked up Masculinity, took him to the rail of the ship, and dumped his body into the sea, never to be found again.

Team Mary Sue:

_ So she's a devil fruit user huh, _Ussop thought to himself. _What a simple solution to our enormous problem. _Sanji came in, after Outrage explained her weakness, and began to worship Outrage's beauty. Surprisingly, he completed ignored Robin, though she didn't seem to mind.

Five minutes after Sanji, the rest of the crew minus Masculinity entered. "Where's my brother?", Outrage asked. "Oh, he was tired and took a nap on the deck", Brooke answered. Sanji, Luffy, and Zoro began to comfort Outrage, in attempts to earn her affection. Realizing it was a ripe time to make things awkward, Nami asked "So which guy are you going to choose?" "I choose Luffy and Zoro", Outrage smirked. "Sorry Sanji, but I don't like blonds.", she awkwardly joked. Sanji took this to heart though, and was freed from her Mary Sue powers. "So a threesome huh!", Nami continued, needing to free Luffy and Zoro. "Yep. I'm cool with a threesome with two guys. We'll get married and live a healthy, long, vegetarian lifestyle.", she awkwardly joked some more. As Zoro processed the words "threesome with two guys", he was freed from her control. Luffy hearing vegetarian, regained his clarity.

Now that none of the strawhats were influenced by her powers they could get rid of her. They disposed of her the same way they did her brother, and celebrated their victory into the night.


	2. Long Lost Sibling

AN: I rewrote this chapter about 5 times before I was satisfied with it, so let me know if you honestly liked it. Also if you guys have any specific Sues and Stus that you want in the story, let me know. Anyway R&R&Enjoy.

Typical OC's

"Those strawhats are responsible for the destruction of Outrage and Masculinity. I'm now sending you to turn them into Sues and Stus. You better not fail me, commander Lucy or else.", a woman's menacing voice threatened. "Listen Queen Bitch don't threaten me. I'm doing this for my own reasons, not for you. ", Lucy replied. "That attitude is why you're my favorite. ", the woman smirked as she sent Lucy to the strawhats.

The strawhats had been on the island for less than 5 minutes before being attacked by pirates. "We of the Fodder pirates shall destroy you strawhats! Fodfodfodfod", the captain laughed. For some odd reason the strawhats couldn't fight at their full power, and so they struggled against the fodder. The fodder were about to charge at the strawhats when a beautiful girl appeared out of nowhere. She looked similar to Luffy, except for her hour glass figure, long black hair, womanly assets, and she had no scar under her eye.

"I'm going to kick your asses for harming my little brother and his crew.", the girl said as she posed in a bad-ass stance that made Franky question the coolness of his poses. _Wow she's amazing_, the strawhats thought, mesmerized by how cool this girl was. The girl then took out her trident, pitch fork of doom and swung it above her head. "Busoshoku Haki: tidal wave", the girl yelled as she thrust her weapon into the ground. The attack dug up the ground to form a huge tidal wave of rock, and obliterated the fodder that had been troubling the strawhats.

"Awesome.", Chopper, Usopp, and Luffy yelled at the amazing power the girl had displayed. " A beautiful angel, sent up from above.", Sanji swooned as he mellironnied. "Thanks.", Nami said, grateful that someone took out the pirates for them. "Who are you?", Robin asked, curious about their savior. "I'm Monkey D. Lucy, the older sister of Monkey D. Luffy.", the girl replied.

"What!", everybody's jaws hit the floor. "Luffy why didn't you tell me you had a beautiful, hopefully single sister?", Sanji yelled. "Well I don't remember having a sister. ", Luffy replied as he scratched his head. "You idiot, how do you forget about having a sister.", Nami yelled as she hit Luffy over the head. _How peculiar_, Robin thought. "It's not his fault. We've only met once a long time ago, so he probably doesn't remember. ", Lucy said. "Oh, so that's why I don't remember you. Shishishishi.", Luffy laughed. "If Luffy doesn't remember you, then how do we know you're really his sister?", Zoro questioned. "How do I know you're really Rorona Zoro", the girl replied. "Because that's my name.", Zoro grumbled. "How do I know you're telling the truth?", the girl countered. Zoro growled and was about to answer Lucy ,when Brooke asked to see her panties. "If I did that, you would die from blood loss", Lucy said. "But I have no blood to lose. Yohohohohoho", Brooke laughed. Sanji then came over and kicked Brooke in the head, yelling about how to treat a lady. "Hey Lucy sis, why don't you come back to the ship, and tell us more about yourself.", Franky invited. "Sure.", Lucy smiled, as everyone began to head back toward the ship.

Everyone was in the kitchen asking Lucy questions, except for Robin who had to check up on something in her room. "Lucy how are you so powerful?", Chopper asked, still amazed at the strength she displayed earlier. "Well I've been trained by the best all my life. Beside the extensive training I received from Garp in rokushiki and haki, I've been the student of Dragon, all the Yonko, all the Shichibukai, all the Admirals, and a variety of other important and powerful people. I've also eaten one of the most powerful devil fruits in existence, the warp warp fruit. Not to mention I'm a bearer of the will of D., so I'm naturally strong. ", she answered. "Why don't you tell us about some of your adventures.", Ussop suggested. "Okay.", Lucy replied.

"... and so I stabbed Neptune in his ass and took his trident as a trophy. ", Lucy finished her story. Everyone was amazed by Lucy's tale of adventure, except for Robin who had returned in time to hear the ending. _King Neptune is doing fine. We saw him only a few weeks ago._, Robin thought to herself.

"Hey sis, how about you join my crew? We could always use another strong adventurer like you.", Luffy smiled. "No, I'm fine.", Lucy replied. Luffy felt a dark pang at his heart, similar to when Ace died. Just as he was about to slip into a deep depression Lucy said, "Just kidding. Of course I'll join." Luffy felt like the happiest man in the world at hearing this. "So, what position will you hold?", Nami asked. "Well I've been a captain, first mate, navigator, sniper, cook, doctor, archeologist, shipwright, and musician before. I can really take any position though.", Lucy answered. "Since all those positions are taken how about you be the chore girl?", Usopp joked , "We always wanted one of those. Hahahahahahah." Everyone laughed except for Lucy, who began to glare at Usopp. "I actually meant to say you could take my position, and I'll be a chore boy. Haha", Usopp studdered. _What the hell, I didn't want to say that at all. Why did my mouth move on its own_, Usopp thought to himself. Before he could say he was joking, Lucy had accepted his offer. "Let's celebrate for the newest member, Lusy sis!", Franky exclaimed. Everyone cheered in agreement, and while Lucy went to get her things, the strawhats prepared for the party. As soon as Lucy was off the ship, Robin called everyone to her room.

"What's wrong Robin, my beautiful angel?", Sanji sweetly asked. "Well everyone, I believe that Lucy isn't who she says she is. I believe she's a Mary Sue.", Robin replied. Everyone gasped, surprised at Robin's accusation. "She can't be a Mary Sue Robin. She doesn't have a ridiculous name or a perfect personality.", Brooke retorted. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Not only was Lucy's name normal , but she was far from perfect. She cursed like a sailor, ate like Luffy, and was a very violent and angry person. Seeing their skepticism, Robin went into her room and came out with a journal. "Ever since we ran into Masculinity and Outrage, I've been doing research on Mary Sues and Gary Stus. I've asked people we've come across at different islands about what they know, and was told many stories and legends. A few islands back I met a fellow historian ,, who gave me this journal they'd been writing about Mary Sues and Gary Stus. Anyway I think Lucy is this kind.", Robin stated as she pointed to a page in the journal.

**The Long Lost Sibling Mary Sue:**

**The long lost sibling Mary Sue is an uncommon one to encounter. They often appear at times when crews are in need of assistance. They are extremely dangerous as they weaken those around them, to make themselves stronger. They're very hard to recognize as Sues, due to their skill of seeming flawed. Fortunately they sacrifice their ability to make people act out of character, in return for their faking skills. They also don't have the ridiculous names most Sues do, due to them taking the last name of the person whose sibling their pretending to be. While many of these Sues and Stus are just harmless and annoying, there are those who can be extremely dangerous. The goals of these dangerous sibling Sues and Stus are often -to-the or-. Their only known general weakness is for their "sibling" to irritate them so much that they explode. You can often recognize these Sues if the crew member whose sibling their pretending to be has no knowledge of them. They make a deep personal connection to the person whose sibling they pretend to be, so try to keep them separated. **

"I can't believe that my beautiful Lucy is a Mary Sue.", Sanji cried. "And to think I was going to get her a welcome aboard gift.", Nami huffed. Everyone began to regret befriending Lucy so easily. "Luffy, how do you feel about this?", Zoro asked worried about his captain. "I feel...I feel...I FEEL LIKE KICKING LUCY'S ASS!", he shouted, and the crew roared in agreement except for Sanji who was crying in the corner about Lucy's deceit.

Meanwhile:

"So how are things going commander Lucy?", the menacing voiced woman asked. "So far, so good. The fools seem to trust me, except for maybe the archeologist. They're annoying as hell though, especially Luffy. He doesn't shut up about meat, and acts so immature. I just want to kill them all.", Lucy growled. "Well control yourself. You know your mission isn't to kill them. If you harm them Lucy I'll-" "I know Queen Bitch.", Lucy interrupted, "If you wanted someone to befriend them, you should have sent one of those sissy lover Sues or Stues", she continued. "I'll keep that in mind, in case you fail.", the woman chuckled. "Anyway, I better get back there before they get suspicious.", Lucy said. "Fine. And good luck Lucy.", the woman said, as she cut off her telepathic link with Lucy.

Lucy walked back to the ship to see the strawhats still preparing for the celebration. _They're still clueless huh. What dumb-asses._, she thought. Little did she know that the strawhats had come up with a plan to eliminate her. "So guys ready to party into the night!", Lucy yelled pumping her fist into the air. "Yeah!", everyone screamed in excitement, ready to start the plan. The party was one full of music, dancing, and drinking. In fact most of the alcohol was being consumed by Lucy, as the strawhats had planned. After about four hours of partying, the strawhats got her to pass out.

"Damn, its about time she passed out.", Zoro mumbled as he lifted up her body. He then went to the edge of the ship and dumped her overboard. "Wow, that was really easy. She must have been one of those annoyingly weak Sues.", Chopper giggled. Everyone was about to start celebrating their victory when Robin noticed something. "How come we haven't heard her body splash into the ocean yet?", Robin inquired. Everyone ran over to the rail to see if the water looked disturbed, which it didn't. "Looking for me shithats.", Lucy said from atop the mast. "How did you get up there?", Nami asked. "I got up here using geppo you stupid bitch. You didn't really think I'd drink until I passed out did you?", Lucy laughed. The strawhats all prepared themselves for battle as Lucy hopped down on deck. "Warp warp chain.", she screamed as chains of purple energy sprung from her hands. Everyone dodged the attack except for Sanji who was admiring her beauty and Zoro who pushed Chopper out of the way. The chains went into their bodies but didn't cause any damage. "Warp Warp retrieve", Lucy yelled and yanked the chains, causing a person to come out of Zoro and Sanji each. The two people looked exactly like Zoro and Sanji before the time-skip. "You two take care of the rest of them, while I take the captain. ", Lucy ordered. The fake Zoro and Sanji nodded their heads in response. Lucy then kicked Luffy onto the island, and super jumped after him. "You two go after Luffy while we handle the fakes.", Nami ordered. Zoro and Sanji both nodded their heads and went in the direction Luffy was kicked in.

"Come on Sanji, let's teach these fake strawhats what we're made of.", the fake Zoro grinned. "As much as I wish I was with beautiful Lucy instead, I am eager to kick some butt Zolo.", fake Sanji responded. To show that they were serious, Zolo tied a black bandanna around his head while fake Sanji took out a lollipop and began to suck it. Just then fake Sanji noticed Robin and Nami. "Such beautiful women.", he said while spinning towards them. "Sanji get serious, or Lucy will have are heads.", Zolo growled and drew his swords. "Yeah, you're right. As beautiful as these two are they're noting compared to Lucy.", he stated. He then took out a gun, pointed it at Chopper, and shot.

On the island

Luffy hit the ground hard, creating a crater when he landed. "Ugh", Luffy groaned, as he began to get up. Lucy then fell out off the sky and landed right on Luffy, causing him to spit up blood. "Lucy are you really a Mary Sue?", Luffy questioned. "Why of course. Mokey D. Lucy is just an acronym for my real name. Mega Orbit Kool Energetic Young Diana Luck Uber Caroline Yipes. And that's just my first name.", she sassed. "Why are you doing this Lucy? We were supposed to be family.", Luffy yelled as he punched Lucy hard in the face. Lucy flew back a few feet before skidding to a stop. "I'm doing this because I want what you have. ", she screamed. "What do you mean by that?", Luffy asked.

On the ship

As Sanji pulled the trigger water came out of the gun, and hit Chopper in the face. "Hahahah, that tickled.", Chopper laughed. Zolo had a huge vein popping out of his forehead, "You idiot, you grabbed a marine's gun didn't you?", he screamed. Sanji looked at the awkwardly shaped gun, "It wasn't a normal shape, so I thought it was dangerous.", Sanji pouted as he tossed the gun away. The two then got into a fighting stance. "You take care of the beauties, while I deal with the brutes.", Sanji ordered. "Heck no, you take care of the girls. They're probably around your power level anyway.", Zolo retorted. Sanji then turned toward Zolo, and the two began to spar. "Hip Hip Puree. Barbequed Rib Buster. Open-Face Slamwich. Leg o' wham drumstick Supreme.", Sanji yelled as he performed attack after attack. Zolo either blocked or dodged the attacks before attacking with his own. "Tiger trap. Steaming Wolf Swords. Bull Charge.", Zolo countered, but Sanji blocked or dodged his attacks. Just as the two were about to clash with a powerful attack, the pair noticed the sound of laughter.

They turned toward the strawhats to see them sprawled on deck laughing. "What the heck are you clowns laughing at.", Zolo growled. "You guys are hilarious.", Brooke chuckled. "Yeah, this fake Zoro is so much dumber than the real one. He can't even pronounce his name correctly.", Nami laughed. "And fake Sanji bros attack names are ridiculous", Franky laughed. "Yeah, I think I have a new one for you", Chopper said as he pointed to fake Sanji, "How do you like the Choclate Chip Chop.", Chopper laughed along with everyone else. "No offense but it's hard to take you two seriously.", Robin smiled.

After hearing these words something changed in them. "Hey Sanji let's get serious, for real this time okay.", Zoro solemnly stated. "Yeah Zolo.", Sanji responded. An evil aurora began to surround the two as they charged toward the strawhats.

Back to Luffy:

"I want to have my own adventures.", Lucy screamed. "Then why don't you just go out to sea. Man was that a stupid reason.", Luffy sighed. "No you idiots don't realize it because you lack my 9th level intellect, but we're in a fictional world. And every damn fiction out there has you shitty strawhats in it and not me. I want everyone to write about me, and give me my own adventures and stories.", she screamed. Luffy stood in a deep thinking state remembering a term Robin once told him. "Are you a canon character?", he asked. This question sent Lucy over the edge, who charged at Luffy. Before she could strike him, a blue wave of energy hit her in the face. Luffy turned his head to see Zoro and Sanji running toward him. Lucy took out her trident, pitch fork of doom and charged.

After fighting for about 30 minutes, the Monster Trio realized how outclassed they were. They hadn't even landed an attack on Lucy. _This isn't working. We've got to find another way to beat her._, Sanji thought. "Hey Luffy why don't you try talking to her.", Sanji suggested. "Ok.", Luffy responded. "Hey Lucy, if you go back home then we won't have to kick your ass.", Luffy yelled. A purple glow started to surround Lucy."You idiot, you're supposed to convince her, not make her angrier.", Zoro grumbled. "Oh, ok I'll try that then. ", Luffy responded. "Lucy if you stop fighting us, I'll give you some meat.", Luffy bribed. "I'm a vegetarian you stupid SHIT!", Lucy screamed at the top of her lungs, tired of hearing Luffy talk. "Well in that case I'll just toss you some carrots. Shishishishi",Luffy laughed. _Shishishishishi_. Luffy's laugh kept playing in Lucy's head. She'd never met such an irritating person in her life, someone who she wanted to kill so badly. Since she saw him with his goofy grin she wanted to kill him. And now that his laugh was stuck in her head, she exploded. "Well that was convenient.", Luffy laughed, as the three headed back to the ship.

When they got back to the ship, they noticed the lack of fake Sanji and Zoro. "What happened to the fakes.", Sanji asked the crew. "They started to fight seriously for about 5 minutes before getting into an argument with one another. Then they just disappeared, probably after you defeated Lucy.", Robin stated. "Let's celebrate the death of another Mary Sue", Luffy yelled, and everyone partied into the night.

AN: Oooh, now there's a mystery charcter involved. Who is this woman who wants the strawhats. Anyway, for those who couldn't tell, Lucy's warp warp fruit created the 4kids dub versions of the characters. Man did that version of one piece have some oddities. If you want to find out some of the terrible things they did go here:

.com/wiki/4Kids_Dub_Episode_Chart

By the way, the names of the attacks for Fake Sanji were actually used in the dub version. Here's a list of all the hilarious attacks he used in the dub.

Sanji's attacks:

Trachea Turnover

Trachea Turnover surprise

**Clavicle Schnitzel Kick Off**

Barbequed Rib buster

Shish Kebab Back Smash

Leg o' wham drumstick Supreme

Open-Face Slamwich

Frog Leg Kick

Shoulder Shank Crank

Hip Hip Puree

Tenderoin Lash

Gut Stuffer

Rump Roast Wrecker

Turkey Tenderizer

Joint Jim-Jim

Prime Cut Kick Suprise

Concasser Crush

Gyro Jostler

Double-Layer Cake Kick

Rolling Dish


	3. From the Real World

AN: Sorry this chapter took so long to post. This used to be chapter 4, but I had so trouble with chapter 3 that I had to drop it. Anyway R&R&Enjoy.

* * *

Typical OC's

"Those damn strawhats killed my precious Lucy.", the menacingly voiced woman seethed. "Queen, if you want, I can deal with them.", a beautiful Mary Sue suggested. "No, I have some other Stus and Sues in mind. They're custom made for the strawhats, but unfortunately aren't done baking yet.", the woman sighed. "I need to keep the strawhats busy while I wait for them to finish up. Susan, open the portal.", the woman ordered the Mary Sue. "Empress are you sure, I know how much you hate using them?", Susan asked. "Yeah, they're natural enemies, but it should keep the strawhats occupied for a while. Now do it.", the woman demanded. "Yes your highness.", Susan bowed as she went to the portal making device.

**In reality:**

Zeke was at home watching the One Piece anime. "Time to see my best friends.", he smiled to himself as watched episode 54 for the 89th time. Then a portal appeared out of nowhere and gobbled him up. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH", Zeke screamed until he finally came to a stop.

**In the one piece world:**

Zeke opened his eyes to notice he was on a ship. "Where am I?", he asked himself as he walked around the ship. He then saw the jolly roger on the pirate flag, and realized he was on the Thousand Sunny. "OH MY GOD. I"M IN THE ONE PIECE WORLD!", he excitedly screamed as he jumped up and down. After an hour of jumping and screaming he calmed down, and heard his stomach grumble. "I need to get something to eat, all that jumping and screaming was exhausting", he said to himself as he headed to the kitchen. He knew exactly where it was at, as he had a scale model of the ship in the real world.

He entered the kitchen to search for food, but everything was locked. "I bet Sanji keeps something hidden in his room", Zeke said aloud. He then entered the boys' cabin, and conveniently there was a fruit lying on the ground. "A DEVIL FRUIT!", Zeke exclaimed, and ate the fruit in one bite. He began to feel his body change, before feeling immense pain and passing out.

The crew came back to the ship eager to celebrate another successful adventure. They were about to begin when Luffy said, "I can sense someone else on the ship." The strawhats then split up to find the intruder. Zoro checked the boy's cabin and saw an overweight man lying on the floor unconscious.

Zeke awoke to a cold metallic feeling on his neck. When he opened his eyes he saw Zoro glaring at him. "Who the hell are you, and why are you on our ship?", Zoro growled. Zeke awed in amazement, excited that he saw one of his idols. Then to make things even more awesome, Zoro was holding Sandai Kitetsu up to his neck.

Zeke had a complete fangasim, at the sight of his favorite sword. He began moaning which crept Zoro out. As Zoro backed away from Zeke, the strawhats came running to the room. Zeke made an awkward face, before a dark liquid began to stain his pants. Zoro's face distorted in disgust as he yelled, "WHAT THE FU-" "What's happening swordsman bro?", Franky asked as he entered the room. He then saw the boy, and a liquid coming from his crotch. "DON'T TELL ME THIS LITTLE SHIT JUST PISSED ON MY SHIP!", Franky yelled, as he charged at the boy. "I'm not sure it's piss.", Zoro shivered. Franky passed out from shock, as Zeke began to laugh.

"Tititititititi. You guys are funnier in person. Oh, by the way do you have any spare bottoms, mine are kind of ruined?", Zeke asked. He then stripped out of his underwear and pants. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH", the entire crew screamed, as they ran out of the room dragging Franky out with them.

"I'm going to kick that blob's ass for flashing my dear Nami and Robin", Sanji growled. "I don't think I ever want to see undergarments again. ", Brooke sobbed. "Who is that guy?", Chopper timidly asked, scared by the person in their room. "Maybe he's a Gary Stu.", Usopp suggested. "Titititititi. I'm not a Gary Stu.", Zeke laughed.

He was wearing a pair of Franky's speedos. "What the hell are you doing wearing my clothes!", Franky yelled as he regained consciousness and charged his Pacifista beam. "Franky don't, you'll damage the ship and I'll have to pay for it.", Nami yelled as she hit Franky over the head. "I'm wearing a speedo to give the ladies a nice view.", Zeke said as he did a pelvic thrust. "Franky blast him to hell!", Nami ordered.

Just as Franky was about to fire, Zeke disappeared. "Where'd he go?", Chopper squealed as he hid behind Zoro. "He's still there, I can sense him.", Luffy answered. "Titititititi. This must be the power of the devil fruit I ate.", Zeke laughed. Sanji's face turned livid, and flames erupted from around his body. "What kind of devil fruit is that?", Sanji questioned in a devilish tone. "Well Sanji my man, I believe I've eaten the chameleon chameleon fruit.", Zeke responded as he reappeared. Sanji was about to kick Zeke to hell, when Robin asked him to stop. "Okay my beautiful dove", Sanji replied with hearts in his eyes.

"What are you and where are you from?", Robin questioned, curious about Zeke. "I'm a sexy man machine, from your dreams baby.", Zeke replied as he snapped his fingers. Not amused, Robin summoned her Hana Hana hands on Zeke's legs and broke them. "Wow, you're even sexier than I imagined.", Zeke contently sighed, as his legs repaired themselves.

The whole crew gasped at Zeke's ridiculous power. "Okay, I'll tell you guys about myself since that's what best friends do", Zeke smiled. "I'm from another dimension.", Zeke informed the crew. "I don't know how I got here, but I'm glad I'm hanging with my best buds.", Zeke said as he pointed at the crew. Robin went into her room to check the journal for information.

**Elsewhere:**

The menacingly voiced woman was tearing her hair out. "Goddess, what's wrong?", Susan worriedly asked. "It's that damn realie. I'm allergic to them, but I've never had a reaction this bad. Return that piece of shit immediately to the real world. And send a sue to keep him busy while it charges. ", the woman ordered. "Yes, right away.", Susan said as she went to the portal making device.

**Back on the Sunny:**

"I can't believe this bastard ate my devil fruit.", Sanji seethed."Why'd you want it?", Luffy asked. Sanji began to sob as he told the crew, "As you guys know, the devil fruit I wanted all my life had already been eaten. So I began to research some other devil fruits, to find a suitable replacement. That's when I came across the chameleon chameleon fruit. With it I would be able to blend in with my surroundings, perfect for peeping." Nami hit the crying Sanji in the head while Brooke and Franky sympathized with him.

"You wanna know what makes me cry. All those naked pictures of Robin and Nami on my computer. Tititititititi.", Zeke laughed, causing Sanji to faint. "What the hell are you talking about?", Nami shouted at Zeke. "Where I come from, people draw things like that all the time and I save it on my computer. ", Zeke responded. Nami went up to Zeke and punched him into the deck. "In that case you owe me lots of money.", Nami yelled.

Zeke got back up immediately and smiled at the crew. "So, when do I become an official member of the strawhats?", Zeke asked. "NEVER.", everyone answered. Zoro unsheathed Wado Ichimonji this time, not wanting a repeat of earlier, and held it to Zeke's throat again. "Jump overboard now or lose your head.", Zoro threatened. "Alright, pickle head.", Zeke complied as he hopped overboard. There was a big splash, and then Zeke began to scream. "Help, I can't swim.", Zeke gurgled as he drowned.

"He's gone at last.", Chopper smiled at the crew. Everyone was relieved that they finally got rid of Zeke, but their happiness was short lived. Zeke reappeared on the deck out of nowhere, perfectly healthy. Just then Robin came back with the journal. "Unfortunately there's nothing helpful in the journal.", Robin stated. "So this guy's invincible.", Usopp dejectedly moaned. Then out of nowhere, a beautiful girl fell out of the sky onto the ship.

"I'm here to take your head, realie.", the girl said as she evaporated Zeke with her glare. "Awesome.", Luffy and Chopper awed at the girl's power. "You're a Mary Sue, I presume.", Robin stated. "Yes, my name is Kiki Irresistable Loaded Mory Babe A. D. L. the Third First Second and Last.", the girl told the crew. Brooke asked, "Kiki, can I see your-", but stopped himself when Zeke's underwear came to his mind. "Never mind.", Brooke said as he began to tear up. "So now we have to take care of you too.", Chopper sighed. "No, I'm not here for you, but for him.", Kiki said as she pointed at the reformed Zeke.

Zeke instantly fell in love with Kiki, as she looked like Nami and Robin combined. As Zeke drooled over her beauty, Kiki transformed into her wolf hybrid form. "Didn't that Jabra guy eat the Mutt-Mutt Wolf Model devil fruit?", Usopp asked Kiki. "This isn't that fruit. This is the mythical zoan/logia elemental werewolf devil fruit.", Kiki bragged. "Well then what's taking you so long to destroy this creep?", Nami asked. "He's a realie, and they're invincible in our dimension. The only way to defeat them is to send them back from where they came, or make them die from happiness. " "In that case we don't need you.", Luffy said as he knocked Kiki into the ocean, who swiftly drowned. "How dare you do that to a lady.", Sanji screamed as he kicked Luffy in the head. "Why'd you kick her Luffy bro, she was helping us out?", Franky asked. "Sorry, I'm just use to killing Sues and Stus. Shishishishishi.", Luffy laughed.

"Oh yeah, Zeke you can join the crew.", Luffy said. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", Zeke let out the biggest fanboy scream he could. A huge smile formed on his face, and he began to shake back and forth wildly. He then fell on flat on the deck and died. "That was easy. Shishishishi.", Luffy laughed. Everyone cheered at their success. "Now whose going to clean that mess he made in our room?", Usopp asked.

* * *

AN: Hopefully this chapter was well worth the wait. Until next time :)


End file.
